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What Each Myers-Briggs Type Does When No One’s Looking

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How we behave publicly is often in contrast with how we behave when all by our lonesome. In the presence of others, we are slightly more inhibited and self-aware and so any impulse we experience will be immediately screened through our built-in social filters so as to avoid humiliation or ridicule. The more comfortable we are with ourselves and the people in our company, the less inhibited we tend to be. However, it is likely there will always be aspects of our personality that we would prefer to keep behind closed doors. Here are the sneaky things each Myers-Briggs (MBTI) personality type is likely to do when they think no one is looking.


Talking to themselves – INTPs have an internal dialogue that can get so intense, they end up acting it out verbally. When there is no one else around to judge them, they may go ahead and think out loud, vent or rehearse an argument with an imagined adversary. As they go over ideas in their mind, they envision how a critic might reply and the possible counterpoints they might present. In the process, INTPs may gesticulate and pantomime in a very animated and unself-conscious way such that if anyone were to witness them, they would think the INTP were losing their mind.


Fuming over their mistakes – INTJs pride themselves on their mental aptitude, but when they make a major mistake or experience failure, it can feel like an affront to their ego. INTJs can sometimes torture themselves over it or fall into depression. INTJs don’t like broadcasting or even showing signs of their inner turmoil. They try to resolve it themselves and are good at hiding their embarrassment and concealing their emotions and reactions away from public scrutiny. They could be seething inside but to the rest of the world may appear like normal.


Drinking straight from the bottle instead of using a cup – It’s convenient but inconsiderate of others to drink straight from the carton, pitcher or bottle in the fridge. That’s what cups are for. For those who live alone, it doesn’t matter much although it could lead to a habit that continues even when they share residence with other people. Those who do it generally don’t see the big deal and only refrain from it when they know someone is watching. When caught, perpetrators may argue any number of ways to justify or mitigate the issue and if there’s anyone who can weasel themselves out with a compelling b.s. argument, it’s an ENTP.


Cutting corners – We can’t always be perfect can we? Sometimes it’s like you’re running a 100m race and you can see the finish line clearly from the starting point, but instead of making a direct beeline from point A to point B, you have to dodge traffic and jump through a hundred hoops and hurdles just to get there. Ain’t nobody got time for that. ENTJs are big picture thinkers who are all about efficiency. They don’t like getting caught up with granular details especially if it compromises their competitive edge. If there’s a loop-hole, they’ll find it, otherwise they’d rather outsource the task to someone else like an ISTJ.


Crying – INFPs are true bawlers. They’re tender snowflakes who mourn the the death of insects. They are earnest, and often naive but always genuine or at least try to be. Throughout their lives, unless they are really lucky, INFPs will come to realize the cruel reality of the world we live in and the fact that it simply doesn’t live up to their quixotic ideals. They try to put on a brave face but sometimes they break down in tears at the thought of someone else’s suffering or from watching soap operas. It doesn’t take much to make an INFP get misty-eyed and INFP guys in particular may avoid showcasing their tears to avoid getting mocked for being softer than a sea sponge.

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Sweeping things under the carpet – This could be taken in both the literal and figurative sense. If it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind and sometimes that’s the extent to which we’re willing to deal with problems perceived as a nuisance or inconvenience not worth the time. To be fair, this is something a perceiver type is more likely to be guilty of since perceivers are inclined to procrastinate, postpone and half-ass a task and leave it half-done. It is a known trait of perfectionists to be generally all-or-nothing in their approach to tasks and so they may deliberately avoid beginning a daunting task until they are ready to do their best work. Since INFJs are reputed as perfectionists, they may on occasion put off things both major and minor because they’re just not ready to deal with it for whatever reason.


Doing impersonations and funny accents – ENFPs likely have a nice sense of humor and very expressive faces. Most of us at one point or another have looked into a mirror and made an attempt at impersonating super famous people like Jimmy Struthers, Michael Bacon, or the venerable Susan Derp. ENFPs likely have a few good ones up their sleeve but most of them are probably unusable because they are too offensive to share in public. Other ones might be simply terrible and not funny to anyone else besides them. They can only practice them in the privacy of their homes with all the curtains drawn so the neighbors won’t see.


Googling themselves – Doing a google search on yourself can be scary because you can never be too sure what will come up. The internet makes it all too easy to publicize things about people that they might not want broadcasted to the world. Just ask Jennifer Lawrence. If you google your name, doing it discreetly is understandable in case something embarrassing like say, a mug shot or immodest selfie pops up and someone is there to see it. ENFJs may google themselves for a number of reasons but most of them are probably vanity-related. Many ENFJs probably thrive on attention and get a rise out of seeing their image or news about them show up alongside that of celebrities. It’s probably a guilty pleasure they are not proud of.


Indulging in Childish Childhood Nostalgia – Unless their childhood was an abject horror show, ISTJs tend to be fond of the past and their minds may frequently hearken back to the halcyon days of their youth when everything was peaches and marshmallows. They might on occasion be guilty of regressing and indulging things they did as a child like binge watching Blue’s Clues or Sesame Street just to relive the magic. They might also pull out the dusty old photo album and fawn over their own baby pictures. It’s probably very comforting for ISTJs to immerse themselves in nostalgia because they cling to what’s familiar and it’s something that may help alleviate stress when their adult life gets too hard.

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Walk around the house stark nekkid – When the coast is clear, ISFJs probably like taking the opportunity to close the blinds, and lock the doors so they can break out their favorite birthday suit. When no one’s around to judge them, it can be liberating to just let it all hang out and go au naturale in the privacy of their own home. They probably do dishes, vacuum, watch netflix and whatever other activities they can think of doing sans clothing – just because they can. On the other hand, this exhibitionist behavior could also be underscored by a subliminal desire to be witnessed in all their bare-bunned glory and so they might order a pizza and answer the door just to get a reaction.


Lurking the social media profiles of frenemies and rivals – ESFJs can be very petty when insecurity and jealousy enters the picture. It was probably an ESFJ who coined the expression “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. They like to stay in loop and they probably have a morbid curiosity when it comes to keeping tabs on their social foes.  Gotta keep an eye on them and make sure their not looking better, living better, having more fun and becoming more popular than they are.


Sizing people up – ESTJs are probably always comparing things and as a result may develop an adept ability for approximation and gauging according to a defined set of criteria – whatever that may be. This probably applies mostly to inanimate things but may also manifest in their assessment of people. ESTJs may openly or covertly scrutinize people without their knowledge. They might even do background checks and snoop into their business to collect info and data on them for their own purposes. ESTJs are the type of personality that tries to peek at the person peeing in the urinal next to them. In other words, ESTJs would make excellent NSA agents.


Leaving the bathroom without washing hands – I’ve witnessed many people who use the toilet and walk right out the bathroom without so much as rinsing their paws at the sink. Imagine how many more people do this when no one’s around to notice. Since ISTPs tend to be very good with their hands, they probably get them dirty all the time and unless they work in an occupation that requires a high standard of sanitation such as a surgeon, or chef, they may be more or less indifferent to the threat of bacteria. On the other hand, with their tertiary Ni, I could see how they could also be paranoid germaphobes who carry hand sanitizer wherever they go. It could go either way, but to all the people who don’t clean their mitts – you know who you are.


Playing with phone apps and taking selfies at work – ISFPs are easily bored and are inclined to seek out sensory stimulation as a distraction while on the job. They are likely to be among the people who will secretly watch Sponge Bob clips on Youtube or snap self-indulgent selfies when they should be finishing up that TPS report the boss asked them for. These types of discursions are not productive uses of anyone’s time but all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy as they say and it may very well be that taking several micro-breaks could be beneficial in allaying tedium-induced brain fog.

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Checking your reflection on almost every reflective surface you encounter – ESFPs are bound to be a bit vain and superficial, but that’s not necessarily such a bad thing if not taken overboard. Some ESFPs might be very preoccupied with their appearance and among the people in the world who have never seen a mirror they didn’t like gazing at. In all likelihood, such an ESFP would probably unabashed about their narcissistic preening but others may have a neurotic concern with their appearance that compels them to frequently check themselves perhaps due to some kind of body image dysmorphia. A lot of people are probably too self-conscious to intensively scrutinize their reflection and perceived flaws while others are people are present.


Oggling attractive people – Leering at people is just plain rude but sometimes it is hard not to. ESTPs are very visual and they are highly attuned to their physical surroundings and everyone in it. They may be a bit superficial in their appreciation for appearances but they can hardly pass up the chance to feast their eyes on a beautiful man or woman. They likely try to soak up as much as they can with furtive glances and sneaky peeks unbeknownst to the other person. They may do this especially while wearing dark sunglasses that can mask the direction of their perverted peepers.

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3 thoughts on “What Each Myers-Briggs Type Does When No One’s Looking

  1. Good to know I’m not going crazy…I’m just rehearsing. *laugh* (Thanks for this post!) Once my last kitties passed away, I couldn’t even use “Crazy Cat Person” as an excuse. ROFL!

  2. The reader may get Infps as cry babies as always ofcourse.
    it’s simply that in their alone time they like to envoke their own emotion more
    Their tears may drop because of a quote they relate to, or a good music track .
    Simply they will reveal their emotions fully when we they’re alone .
    I’m not correcting I’m detailing.

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