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5 Reasons Why INFJs fall for INTPs

The INFJ-INTP Golden Couple

Despite what type theories might suggest, I believe just about any pair of MBTI personalities have a fighting chance at forming a happy relationship. INTJs for example, are supposedly least compatible with Artisans (SPs) and Guardians (SJs) but a self proclaimed INTJ Youtuber named Ben has testified to being happily married to an ISFJ. Romantic chemistry and compatibility is a person-to-person matter and so the MBTI hopefully will not prevent individuals from keeping an open mind. Still, type theory can be a helpful tool in pointing us to the personality types with the most positive prospects.

The INFJ INTP romance could be one such pairing that holds promise. Do INFJ and INTP get along? By David Keirsey’s estimation, sure. Keirsey, author of “Please Understand Me” and “Please Understand Me II” believed that Idealists and Rationals get along well due to their shared “N” perceiving preference. These two temperament groups are preoccupied with abstraction, metaphor and creativity and this impacts the way they relate with others and communicate and communication is central to any great relationship.

Whether it is an INFJ female with INTP male, or INFJ male with INTP female (or whatever way you wanna match it), here is a look at 5 aspects of the INFJ-INTP relationship that might answer the question: Why is INFJ and INTP the golden pair?

1. INFJ Appreciates The INTP Commitment To Principles

INFJs being the shrewd judges of character they are, will likely admire the INTP’s noble qualities such as their intellectual integrity, their unrelenting quest for truth and their honesty. Despite their overall candor, INTPs tend to be rather polite and tactful in how they express themselves. Although their inferior Fe makes them something of a social misfit, it still allows them to appreciate some measure of social etiquette in the service of avoiding unnecessary discord with others. INTPs will likely develop principles that govern the way they engage with people – a “rules of engagement” so to speak. It is likely that at some point early in their lives INTPs may have worked out coping mechanisms to deal with people in ways that make sense to them while still being true to themselves. These principles will undoubtedly be predicated on fairness and objectivity and may be something INFJ notices and appreciates.

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2. INFJ And INTP Both Tend To Be Night Owls

Although, INFJs are more disposed to following more structured lifestyles than the INTP, they nonetheless share with them, a taste for the night life. As introverted intuitive types, both the INTP and INFJ will likely agree that night time just makes everything better. When dusk falls, the INFJ and INTP pair will enjoy staying up doing what they like to do together like watching movies, gaming and having deep conversations about things they find interesting. Their creative juices are likely to be most active during the evening hours where they are bound to get up to all kinds of introverted fun around the time when early bird-inclined personalities (like maybe ISFJ for example) begin to peter out.

3. INFJ Is A Great Sounding Board For INTP

Talking about their ideas is something INTPs like to do because the exercise of finding the right words to clearly articulate their message out loud helps reinforce the clarity of it in their own minds as well as help them discover any flaws or holes in their thinking. INFJs are good conversation partners for INTP because they are excellent listeners and one of the types whose eyes won’t glaze over when INTP goes into their involuted and sometimes hard-to-follow streams of thought.

INTP likes to jump around connecting one idea with another and then suddenly in a leap of intuition, veers off into what appears to be a non-sequitur to the person listening but actually follows a meaningful connection the INTP may have to explain. INFJ is great because they will entertain the topics that INTP broaches and follow it to it’s natural conclusion without trying to change the subject. Because of their shared “N”, they have the potential for playing off each other nicely in conversation with a good back-and-forth rapport that feels natural and easy.

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4. INFJs Can Provide The Love and Understanding INTPs Secretly Desire

INTP’s trouble with intimacy stems from their persistent fear of rejection. They are painfully aware of their awkwardness in this arena and often shy away from opportunities to give or receive affection if they feel pressure. INFJ is able to put INTPs at ease with their calm soothing manner of speaking and sympathetic ear. They make INTP feel protected and understood. INFJ’s have Ti as their auxiliary function and this allows them to share a desire to understand rather than judge or condemn aspects of INTP that may baffle or annoy them.

INFJ-INTP dating may initially face certain problems or challenges until INTP can lower their guard and give INFJ the intimacy they desire. Deep down INTP wants to express that part of themselves because beneath their reserved demeanor lay intense emotions that they try to keep under rational control. It is worth noting that in a Thoughtcatalog love language survey, INFJs and INTPs reported the same love language preferences on average with physical affection ranking as the 3rd most popular love language of these two types.

INFJ INTP Love Languages thoughtcatalog
INFJ INTP Love Languages –

5. INTPs Are Funny (Both Intentionally and Unintentionally)

INTP absent-mindedness and social gaffes can be a source of comedy in itself, but INTPs also tend to have a smart and clever sense of humor that often involves punny quips and well placed one-liners. They can be intentionally funny and their sense of humor promises to be unusual and irreverent. INTPs observe a great deal of behavior in others that they regard as absurd. They are good at mocking the things that vex them and poking holes in it, exposing the ridiculousness with satirical and sarcastic hyperbole (a la Larry David).


Most Important Aspects

  • mutual support
  • mutual commitment
  • being listened to
  • fidelity
  • intimacy
  • companionship
  • shared values

Least Important Aspects

  • shared religious beliefs
  • shared interests
  • sexual compatibility
  • spiritual connection
  • similar parenting styles

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Jetta Moon

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One thought on “5 Reasons Why INFJs fall for INTPs

  1. INTP here! I don’t have any religious beliefs and identify mostly as an agnostic. But I was brought up as a Catholic and can tell you in no uncertain terms that if someone who has no religious beliefs pairs up with a partner who is an ardent believer in their particular faith, shared religious beliefs suddenly become very important indeed. The religious one would pull out all the stops to convert their irreligious partner who (if they’re anything like me) would stick to their guns, because who would put up with being controlled? The only question would be who would be the first to initiate the break-up.

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