article INTJ INTP Myers Briggs Relationships

6 Reasons Why INTJ and INTP Fall In Love

intj intp relationship

The INTP INTJ relationship is likely to make for a very smart couple. David Keirsey, author of “Please Understand Me” observed that INTJs are highly selective of their romantic partners and perhaps the most systematic of all the MBTI types in their approach to INTJ dating. They screen potential partners in the same methodical manner they employ to their impersonal projects. INTPs by contrast may have a more open handed attitude towards finding a mate but generally speaking, they do not go out of their way to find one.

A study found that both INTJs and INTPs were more likely than average to marry persons who share their own type. The study also found that INTP males in the sample did not ever marry ESFJ females. It appears that in the case of both INTP and INTJ, opposites do not attract so much. They seem to be happiest with other rationals types, preferably their own. Keirsey proposed that rationals were most compatible with other rationals and idealist types. In another study, rationals who paired with idealists reported the highest satisfaction ratings of any other rational pairing.

So why do INTP and INTJ get along? Aside from the obvious reasons, there are a number of unique benefits to this match up that the INTP INTJ couple is bound to cherish. Here is a look at 6 aspects of this sapiosexual relationship that might explain the INTP INTJ attraction.

INTP INTJ functions

INTJ Functions

  1. Introverted Intuition (Ni)

  2. Extraverted Thinking (Te)

  3. Introverted Feeling (Fi)

  4. Extraverted Sensing (Se)

INTP Functions

  1. Introverted Thinking (Ti)

  2. Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

  3. Introverted Sensing (Si)

  4. Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

1 INTJ and INTP Stimulate Each Other’s Mind

As fellow rationals, the INTP INTJ combination could be characterized as mindmates. In their relationships, both the INTP and INTJ place high importance on mental stimulation. They would prefer a romantic partner or friend with whom they can explore ideas and someone who shares a healthy intellectual curiosity. An INTP INTJ friendship or romance is likely to provide an adequately brainy rapport that both personalities may find enjoyable.

While both the INTP and INTJ will no doubt pride themselves on the areas of knowledge in which they’ve built proficiency, they also appreciate the idea of being around someone from whom they can learn more. Each partner will likely delight in sharing what they learn and discover and INTP INTJ conversation may include a number of philosophical debates fueled by their judging/perceiving dichotomy. INTJ in particular will enjoy discussing their plans, visions, discoveries, and progress towards their objectives.

INTPs will be eager to share their creative compositions, new ideas and concepts they’ve either learned or come up with themselves and they may enjoy testing the strength of those ideas through friendly debate with their INTJ mate.

2 INTP Appreciates INTJ’s Clarity and Directness

INTPs being not the greatest at reading people’s indirect innuendos will appreciate that INTJ generally does not play those games. If anything, INTJs tend to be too curt and blunt and may need to curtail the hard edges of how they communicate with or around more sensitive “PC” people. While both personality types are oriented towards shyness and aloofness, it most likely that the INTJ would be the first to express interest before an INTP ever would. INTJ has little reservation about saying what they really think or dispensing criticism and INTP for the most has little trouble taking it so long as it is seen as valid to them.

INTPs are generally receptive to objective criticism and able to take it in stride so long as there is no malice or nastiness behind how it is given. INTPs above all want to equip themselves with the most accurate information possible and if someone can redress them or point out a flaw in their thinking then so much the better. It is only in respect to their personal processes and most deeply thought-over ideas that an INTP may become defensive. They will dispute anything they disagree with but upon realizing a fault in their reasoning, they are generally able to quickly concede and adjust their position accordingly. That being said, INTP INTJ communication is likely to be unencumbered by the need to tiptoe around each other’s sensitivities.

3 INTP and INTJ Appreciate Dark Humor

While studies have shown that the INTP and INTJ personality types are highly represented among academically gifted students, this does not mean that all INTPs and INTJs are particularly smart. This is because MBTI tests are only designed to evaluate behavior and cognitive preferences, not aptitude. Nevertheless, rational types being less concerned about political correctness and generally being less sensitive overall, have a penchant for appreciating off-color humor or jokes that offend the sensibilities of perhaps most people.

There has been a study that found that a dark sense of humor may indicate high intelligence on both verbal and non-verbal scales. An INTP and INTJ relationship is likely to abound with humor that would be considered inappropriate or offensive to the greater part of the outside world. Furthermore, INTPs often have a great if not unconventional sense of humor but they may feel it goes underappreciated or misunderstood by many people. INTP can sometimes say the most unexpected and laugh-out-loud things that catches everyone by surprise but for the most part they choose not to bother verbalizing a lot of what comes to mind.

This is because they know most likely, no one will find it as funny as they do. With INTJ, this may not be as much of a problem and for once, INTP has someone with whom they can share more of their geeky introverted comedy.

4 INTJ Can Add Structure To INTP Life

It is no secret that INTPs are not particularly concerned with creating order and structure, at least not in the physical world. They do care about meta-structure however, and they spend much of their time consciously and subconsciously categorizing, sorting, analyzing and juxtaposing information as part of their process of making sense of the various abstractions they draw from the outside world. They want to enrich their mind palace and make themselves wealthy with knowledge and understanding from many angles.

This preoccupation with the inner world often comes at the expense to INTP’s abilities in managing their external affairs. Life structure is typically a blind spot for INTPs and an area in which INTJ can be of help. So long as INTJ doesn’t become overbearing, judgemental or controlling in their use of extraverted thinking (Te), the iNTP will likely appreciate and even admire INTJ’s ability to stay on top of their commitments and responsibilities. INTPs may feel pressure to try and pick up the slack on their part and be more conscientious, diligent and mature like the INTJ. This area could possibly be a point of contention or recurrent conflict amongst the INTJ and INTP, but in the most ideal scenario may serve as a positive influence for INTP.

5 INTJ Can Inspire INTP To Work Harder

When INTP meets INTJ there is a recognition. A recognition of similarities in terms of general intellectual bearing and a recognition of differences in their attitude and approach to getting things done. It just so happens that INTPs while being wildly imaginative and creative, may have difficulty getting things started and seeing them through to completion in order to achieve any material outcome or ROI on all the time they spend thinking things through. INTJs once again can show the INTP how to organize and rally their time and energy effectively towards the end of achieving a singular goal.

INTPs seem to suffer from analysis paralysis and oftentimes this prevents them from acting on even attempting to take their ideas to the next step because of all the potential pitfalls they’ve envisioned before even trying anything. INTJs can help INTP to embrace action and overcome the fear of failure. Whether it is an INTP female with INTJ male or INTP male and INTJ female (or whatever other combination) these two types in both love and friendship can help one another realize their personal goals and achieve their dreams by sharing the strengths developed by their most dominant cognitive preferences.

6 Both INTJ and INTP Have Modest Emotional Needs

Neither the INTP or INTJ are emotionally needy creatures. They are low maintenance in this regard and will place little demand on each other’s time being that they are both very independent. The INTP and INTJ romance will be underscored by a mutual understanding where both individuals operate on basically the same page. Rationals, especially INTJs, do not require constant reminders or shows of affection from their partners.

Based on the results of a thought catalog survey however, it appears that INTPs on average value ‘words of affirmation’ as their second most preferred love language whereas among INTJs it ranked 4th. It was ‘acts of service’ that came out as INTJ’s 2nd most preferred love language. This suggests that INTPs appreciate encouraging and affectionate words a bit more than INTJs. INTJs are not naturally compelled to reaffirm verbally what they feel once it has already been established and evidenced through their actions. in relationships they may instead opt to express their love and devotion through generous ‘acts of service’ to their lover. INTPs may prefer a little more warmth out of INTJ and fortunately, INTJs are generally able and willing to improve their performance as an effective and sufficient lover.

INTJ

Most Important Aspects

  • fidelity
  • mutual support
  • mutual commitment
  • intellectual stimulation
  • being listened to
  • shared values
  • having fun together

Least Important Aspects

  • shared religious beliefs
  • security
  • financial security
  • similar parenting styles
  • spending time together
  • spiritual connection

INTP

Most Important Aspects

  • mutual commitment
  • fidelity
  • mutual support
  • being listened to
  • humor
  • intellectual stimulation
  • companionship

Least Important Aspects

  • financial security
  • shared religious beliefs
  • spiritual connection
  • security
  • similar parenting styles

source: Just Your Type. Tieger & Tieger. 2000.

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