Here is a take on how each MBTI is as a senior citizen.
INFJ is the senior with too many pets including a squirrel abandoned by it’s mother, a cockatoo and multiple cats and dogs. INFJs are considered to be old souls and so in their later years, they are naturally the sapient sage. They dwell on their past mistakes and unfulfilled life aspirations and sometimes beat themselves up over it. A drunken revelry with close friends or as a party of one usually chases the clouds away.
An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay. Here’s what the 16 MBTI personalities are apt do with an apple.
INFJ eats the apple because it is good for their health and then plants the seeds for the benefit of future generations.
How we behave publicly is often in contrast with how we behave when all by our lonesome. In the presence of others, we are slightly more inhibited and self-aware and so any impulse we experience will be immediately screened through our built-in social filters so as to avoid humiliation or ridicule. The more comfortable we are with ourselves and the people in our company, the less inhibited we tend to be. However, it is likely there will always be aspects of our personality that we would prefer to keep behind closed doors. Here are the sneaky things each Myers-Briggs (MBTI) personality type is likely to do when they think no one is looking.
funny quotes by people of each zodiac sign
[dropcap]P[/dropcap]eople say the darndest things, and who doesn’t love quotes that make us laugh? Here is an assortment of funny quotes made by people of each zodiac sign that will make you LOL.
“By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.”
– Richard Dawkins (Aries born March 26)
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”
– Reba McEntire (Aries born March 28)
“I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I’ve ever met.”
– Herb Caen (Aries born April 3)
“My friends who have babies can’t do anything. You can’t go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.”
– Natasha Leggero (Aries born MArch 26)
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
– Terry Pratchett (Taurus born April 28)
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
– Jerry Seinfeld (Taurus born April 29)
“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
– George Carlin (Taurus born May 12)
“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
– Katharine Hepburn (Taurus born May 12)
“There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.”
– Josh Billings (Taurus born April 21)
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
– Brooke Shields (Gemini born May 31)
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
– Joan Rivers (Gemini born June 8)
“I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.”
– Demetri Martin (Gemini born May 25)
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard (Gemini born June 19)
“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy (Gemini born May 29)
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
– Clint Eastwood (Gemini born May 31)
“We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.”
– Milton Berle (Cancer born July 12)
“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”
– Phyllis Diller (Cancer born July 17)
“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
– Dave Barry (Cancer born July 3)
“If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”
– Robin Williams (Cancer born July 21)
“Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.”
– E. B. White (Cancer born July 11)
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.”
– Alex Haley (Leo born August 11)
“I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?”
– Leo Durocher (Leo born July 27)
“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”
– Don Marquis (Leo born July 29)
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
– George Bernard Shaw (Leo born July 26)
“I feel like my career has been a series of glowing obituaries.”
– Michael Ian Black (Leo born August 12)
“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.”
– Laurence J. Peter (Virgo born September 16)
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
– Buddy Hackett (Virgo born August 31)
“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin (Virgo born September 1)
“I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.”
– Warren Buffett (Virgo born August 30)
“I have a hard time with interviews, because I’d rather hear about the interviewer.”
– Maria Bamford (Virgo born September 3)
“I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.”
– Paul Simon (Libra born October 13)
“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
– David Lee Roth (Libra born October 10)
“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
– Lenny Bruce (Libra born October 13)
“Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.”
– James A. Garfield (Scorpio born November 19)
“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
– Billy Sunday (Scorpio born November 19)
“I don’t believe in storks. I know they don’t deliver babies; they deliver pickles.”
– Tracy Morgan (Scorpio born November 10)
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
– Margaret Mead (Sagittarius born December 16)
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.”
– Oliver Herford (Sagittarius born December 3)
“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
– Ron White (Sagittarius born December 18)
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
– Rodney Dangerfield (Sagittarius born November 22)
“What’s another word for Thesaurus?”
– Steven Wright (Sagittarius born December 6)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey (Capricorn born January 17)
“If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”
– William Lyon Phelps (Capricorn born January 2)
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
– Benjamin Franklin (Capricorn born January 17)
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”
– Oscar Levant (Capricorn born December 27)
“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.”
– Joey Adams (Capricorn born January 9)
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
– George Burns (Aquarius born January 20)
“Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.”
– Edward Abbey (Aquarius born January 29)
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
– Jimmy Durante (Aquarius born February 10)
“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
– Alice Roosevelt Longworth (Aquarius born February 12)
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres (Aquarius born January 26)
“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”
– Jules Renard (Pisces born February 22)
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
– Douglas Adams (Pisces born March 11)
“I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.”
– Mitch Hedberg (Pisces born February 24)
“Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”
– Robert Orben (Pisces born March 4)
“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
– W. H. Auden (Pisces born February 21)
source: brainyquotes.com
Zuckerberg. Tesla. Newton. They are your professors, your politicians, your military leaders, your CEOs. They are the all-serious, all-silent, all-awkward masterminds of the world. I’m talking about, you guessed it – the INTJ. You may see them but few get to know them. They hide in plain sight but their work will not go ignored.
[dropcap]I[/dropcap]NTJs have strong principles and many live spartan lifestyles most people couldn’t handle. They forgo many of the gratuitous comforts most people depend on and instead put their focus on completing tasks to an almost obsessive degree. It should come as no surprise then that they are among the top 4 highest earning personality types in the MBTI.
So here’s a joke: A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy. “Magic beer,” he says. “Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?” Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile. “Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof —and plummets 15 stories to the ground. The bartender shakes his head. “You know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
If that made you lol, then chances are you smart, you really smart…
Matter fact… maybe you a genius.
Why? Well according to a January 2017 study published in Cognitive processing Journal, individuals who enjoyed dark humor tested significantly higher on scales of verbal and non-verbal intelligence than those offended by off-color jokes. A research team led by Ulrike Willinger at the Medical University of Vienna gathered a sample comprised of 156 adults and recorded their responses to 12 dark humor cartoons taken from German cartoonist, Uli Stein’s “The Black Book“. Dark humor (also referred as gallows humor) is defined as being “a kind of humor that treats sinister subjects like death, disease, deformity, handicap or warfare with bitter amusement and presents such tragic, distressing or morbid topics in humorous terms.”
The study rated participants across a number of variables including dark humor comprehension, dark humor preference, aggression, mood disruption, and verbal and non-verbal intelligence. For each cartoon, individuals were asked to rate on a 4-point scale the difficulty of understanding the joke, the vulgarity of it, the level of surprise by the punchline and how well it fit, the novelty of it, their interest in the subject matter, and the amount of pleasure they derived from it. The researchers found that the results pitted participants into 3 highly correlated groups.
Researchers concluded that the cognitive and emotional complexities involved in processing dark humor allowed people of higher intelligence and calm temperament to better recognize and appreciate the comedy in otherwise upsetting and disturbing content matter. Higher intelligence also correlates with a better ability to use humor as a coping mechanism for dealing with trauma, tragedy and stress.
Psychologists have long attributed a relationship between humor and intelligence and many theories assert the key concept behind humor is the recognition of incongruity. Humor itself has been described as the resolving of incongruities or a “reconciliation of paradox”. It is believed that much of the same right brain skills involved in problem solving are also required to process and understand jokes. Smarter people are able to process the morbid and disturbing contexts of dark humor without being put off by it and hence comprehend the meaning of the joke enough to enjoy it.
Here are descriptions of the 12 cartoons used in the study. See if you find them humorous or not.
|
Cartoon |
Situation |
Text |
|---|---|---|
|
1. |
Santa Claus, standing on a long, thin tail and having some drops of blood under and on both boots, has been giving Christmas presents to a penguin, a dog and a cat, standing in front of him. Having distributed a fish, a dog biscuit and a tuna tin to them, he still has a gift wrapped cheese left in his hands. |
Santa Claus: ‘And who put the cheese on his letter to me?’ |
|
2. |
Death, impersonated by a skeleton in a hooded coat holding an hourglass and a sickle stands at the doorstep of a man’s apartment. |
The man: ‘I am sorry, we do not die at the front door.’ |
|
3. |
Up on a veritable height a man stands at the outer windowsill of an apartment block. Having a noose laid around his neck and a fixed knife directed to his stomach he puts a gun against his head. Beside him on the sill lies an emptied bottle labelled as poison and an envelope. Inside the apartment are two police officers, one of them pointing at the man saying: |
‘Hey – I know this guy from elementary school. I remember that we called him Eberhard, the efficient.’ |
|
4. |
A man scratching his chin apparently out of confusion is clutching the receiver of a public phone box. The voice coming from the receiver says: |
‘Here is the answering machine of the self-help association for Alzheimer patients. If you still remember your topic, please speak after the tone.’ |
|
5. |
A general practitioner is explaining the result of a medical test to a couple with her being pregnant: |
‘To begin with, here is the good news: Your child will always find a parking space.’ |
|
6. |
Four men are standing high up on a bungee jumping platform. One of them is holding a rope fixed on the one end to the platform. The other end of the rope is tied around a leg prosthesis that is turned upside down. One of them is telling the others: |
‘I didn’t examining his certificate of disability in all detail.’ |
|
7. |
A group of surgeons in an operating theatre is in the middle of what looks like a heart surgery. Without a sign of warning the heart springs out of the patient’s body right into one of the surgeons’ faces. Another surgeon remarks: |
‘That’s the most amazing case of tissue rejection I’ve ever seen!’ |
|
8. |
In a morgue a physician is lifting a white cover sheet off a body with a woman standing beside him. The woman confirms: |
‘Sure, that’s my husband – anyway, which washing powder did you use to get that so white?’ |
|
9. |
Two women, apparently real chatterboxes, are having a chat over coffee. |
The first one: ‘He is crippled, she is crippled and what’s more they are going to have a baby.’ The other one: ‘I do hope things straighten themselves out.’ |
|
10. |
In an operating theatre a surgeon has one arm deep in an opened body. Another surgeon explains the situation to a man in a suit: |
‘The autopsy is finished; he is only looking for his wrist watch.’ |
|
11. |
A dentist is on a root canal job with the patient being completely tensed up due to pain. At the back of the patient’s chair the tip of a rotating dental drill, apparently having worked its way through the patient’s mouth and neck comes into sight. The dentist asks his patient: |
‘Does it hurt?’ |
|
12. |
After having committed suicide the body of a man hangs from a light fixture in a living room, hung by his tie. His wife enters the room with a friend and looking at him she complains: |
‘And once again the green tie with the blue suit. Come on, what have I been nagging him about for all these years?’ |
Willinger, U., Hergovich, A., Schmoeger, M., Deckert, M., Stoettner, S., Bunda, I., Witting, A., Seidler, M., Moser, R., Kacena, S. and Jaeckle, D., 2017. Cognitive and emotional demands of black humour processing: the role of intelligence, aggressiveness and mood. Cognitive processing, pp.1-9.
Hauck, W.E. and Thomas, J.W., 1972. The relationship of humor to intelligence, creativity, and intentional and incidental learning. The journal of experimental education, 40(4), pp.52-55.
Source: If You Laugh at These Dark Jokes, You’re Probably a Genius
Source: Can Psychology Explain Humor?
Source: Intelligence & Humor: Are Smarter People Funnier?
Source: Cognitive and Emotional Demands of Dark Humor Processing: The Role of Intelligence, Aggressiveness and Mood
Source: If you have a dark sense of humor you might be more intelligent
via fjackets.com
Hero: Bullet time. You can slow down time in order to fight at an incredible speed, making it impossible to hit or shoot you.
Villain: Invulnerability. You are impervious to any harm, requiring extreme measures in order to hurt you.
Hero: Atmokinesis. You can control the weather, allowing you to control many aspects of nature itself.
Villain: Seismic power. You have the ability to create seismic shocks or earthquakes at will.
Hero: Intangibility. You have the power to be impossible to perceive by any of the senses.
Villain: Molecular dissipation. You can make any object vanish into thin air and absorb its energy.
Hero: Clairvoyance. You have the ability to perceive events that are taking place elsewhere or sense places that are not in view.
Villain: Summoning. You can call animals, creatures, or otherworldly beings for assistance.
Hero: Danger sense. You are aware of approaching danger before it reveals itself.
Villain: Probability manipulation. You have the power to alter the outcomes of things that require luck or the occurrence of unusual phenomena.
Hero: Force fields. You can create transparent or invisible shields as a method of protection.
Villain: Banishing. You can send a person somewhere else, usually to trap them or keep them away.
Hero: Orbing. You have the ability to teleport from place to place with magical orbs surrounding you.
Villain: Omnilingualism. You can decipher any known language and learn any being’s language, alien included, through physical touch.
Hero: Umbrakinesis. You can mentally repulse photons to create shadow or darkness and move objects via shadow.
Villain: Possession. You are able to take control of the body and mind of someone else, temporarily leaving your own body for theirs.
Hero: Cross-dimensional travel. You have the ability to travel through any alternate dimensions.
Villain: Molecular combustion. You are able to speed up molecules, basically in order to blow things up.
Hero: Cryokinesis. You can reduce the kinetic energy of atoms in order to lower temperature. This is often used to control, generate, or absorb ice.
Villain: Grim reaping. You have the ability to kill or mortally wound someone through touch.
Hero: Portal creation. You have the power to create wormholes in time and space.
Villain: Phasing. You have the ability to pass through solid objects.
Hero: Wishing. You have the ability to wish for anything and that wish comes true.
Villain: Reality warping. This gives you the ability to change and mold reality itself.
