Many people believe that the art of flirting is something that you either have or you don’t. This isn’t true at all. The art of flirting is something, which can be mastered by anyone with an interest in learning how to flirt. It’s a practice-makes-perfect skill, which is learned from the inside out.
According to an article from psychologytoday, people flirt for a number of different reasons, such as:
- To gauge the interest of another person.
- To push a platonic relationship into a romantic one.
- To make interactions fun and playful.
- To manipulate someone into doing a favor.
- To validate one’s own self esteem and their ability to attract others.
- To simply get in another person’s pants.
Everyone masters the art of flirting differently, but there are some basics of the art of flirting which might help you to find the flirt within and bring it out to play.
1. SUBTLETY IS KEY
The first thing to know about the art of flirting is that it works best when not done in an overtly thirsty and desperate way. You don’t need to be the most attractive person in the room and you don’t have to be the smartest, most athletic or most outgoing either. The art of flirting is designed to bring out the wonderful qualities that are unique about you and to let them shine so that others can be drawn to them. In this way, the art of flirting begins from the inside. This is an art of quiet confidence and the more natural and organic you are, the better your chances of success.
2. EYE CONTACT
Flirting is an art, that is primarily non-verbal. They say that the eyes are the keys to the soul and you should use yours as a starting point for the art of flirting. Have you ever been glancing around a room, bored and disinterested in what was going on around you when a stranger caught your gaze and held it for a few moments? For most people, this causes the heart to race and the mind to start whirring, wondering what it was about them that caught someone’s attention. People are drawn to others who are attracted to them and you can convey your interest at many levels with the different types of looks you give to people. The art of flirting will incorporate many different types of gazes.
If you are in a public setting and just want to catch the eye of a stranger, meeting their gaze and holding it for a few seconds then letting it go followed by meeting it again is the best method. But in a face to face interaction, some experts suggest that eye contact should be sustained and direct. “No, you don’t look away. You continue to stare. Gaze deep into their eyes. It doesn’t even matter if you’re paying attention to what they’re saying.” – psychologytodayThis quickly conveys that you are interested in flirting with them and you will be able to tell from their reaction whether or not they share your interest. More aggressive flirting is done through giving the object of flirtation a look, which says, “I am thinking dirty things about you”. Sometimes this is done with a lingering gaze, sometimes with an up-and-down-the-body glance and sometimes with a stare, which suggests that you are hungry and looking to devour them.
3. USING BODY LANGUAGE
In addition to eye contact, the art of flirting makes use of other types of body language. Positioning your body in such a manner that shows you are open to communication is crucial to the art of flirting. Touching the other person is also a big part, but it should be done cautiously. You should read the other person’s body language to determine whether they are welcoming the signals you are sending out. You’ll be able to tell if it’s appropriate to touch their arm or lean your leg against theirs while talking. The art of flirting consists of a combination of conveying your intentions while reading the signals of the other person. A successful combination of these two things which stems from a foundation of casual confidence in your own self worth makes the art of flirting enjoyable and fun.
4. THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY OF ‘NEGGING’
The standard way to ingratiate yourself with an attractive person is by lavishing them with compliments and flattery. But if the person is really attractive, they’ve probably been approached this way a million times already. To differentiate yourself, take a different tactic and show your interest by poking fun at them and making humorously ambiguous remarks about them. This technique is known as negging and is a way of showing active disinterest by slightly knocking them off their pedestal with a vague or backhanded compliment. It is a form of reverse psychology and when it works, it can turn the tables and make the other person feel invested in the challenge of winning your approval and impressing you.
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Jhoon is a writer and artist who likes to study astrology and psychology. Astroligion.com was launched in 2016 with a focus on astrology but has since expanded to include the MBTI and other topics. This site has provided Jhoon a great incentive to research and learn more about many subjects of personal interest.