We all want something from others. Be it respect, love, attention or money, here is a look at what each Myers-Briggs likely wants most from other people.
INFJs desire understanding and moral support from others. INFJs can sometimes feel as though they live on a remote island of emotions that only a few trusted people are allowed to visit. This need to conceal parts of themselves for fear of judgement can make them feel isolated when deep down they would like to be able share themselves more authentically. The problem is, people sometimes don’t know how to relate to them and instead criticize or misinterpret their intentions. INFJs wish other people could understand them the way they understand others.
INFPs desire sincere validation from others. INFPs may struggle with insecurity and self-doubt and may fall victim to the negative voices in their head. Their individuality is very important to them but it can also make them feel alienated. They often question, criticize and blame themselves when things go wrong and sometimes they just need someone to remind them how awesome they are before they self-destruct. Receiving genuine praise and recognition for who they are and the work they’ve passionately produced is like warm sunlight for their soul.
INTPs desire autonomy and for others to trust in their ability to operate independently without supervision. INTPs are able to work in teams but would prefer to have their own space where they can focus but also daydream. INTPs would like to be entirely responsible for the work they do and having control motivates them to do brilliant work that showcases their cleverness and creativity. They appreciate when they are granted leeway to explore possibilities and try new things without fear of being persecuted.
INTJs want others to learn from them and they also want to be respected for their work. INTJs pour a lot of themselves into what they do and ultimately want to be seen as being highly proficient and authoritative in their field. They would not be happy being perceived as a dilettante or a subpar underling. They are driven to develop competence and mastery of their craft because being acknowledged as a high caliber expert means a lot to them.
ESTJs want to be respected above all and to have their opinions be taken seriously. They work hard, are competent and generally want to be viewed as leaders. ESTJs have a strong tendency for taking control even when it is not their job to do so. Sometimes this can lead to clashes and power struggle with others but since they are so competent, others are often willing to allow them to assume some control. ESTJs want to be seen as being a pillar of society and strong manager.
ENTJs want to be followed and looked to as an inspirational visionary. ENTJs want others to submit to their vision and trust in their direction. They are capable of pulling off amazing feats and accomplishing hardy tasks that only someone with the planning skills and creativity they posses could nail. They want others to believe in them and believe in their advice because they also want to empower others to succeed as well.
ESTPs want to be admired and envied. They want to be the talk of the town and to have popularity through the roof. ESTPs care about status and image and what others think of them is of some importance to them. They want respect and to be recognized as a somebody who is strong and not a pushover. ESTPs also want to be viewed as being exciting and fun to be around. They’re willing to take risks just to impress other people.
ENTPs want to be challenged by others. ENTPs argue for sport and sometimes it’s as though they just pick fights out of boredom. People who are too sensitive or politically correct are no fun. ENTPs would like to be around people who can dish it as well as take it. They would like for people to keep them on their toes and offer stimulating conversation. They also want to receive credit and admiration for the cunning and clever things they say and ideas they come up with. Basically they want a fan base.
ESFJs want to be liked mostly. They also want feel needed and depended upon. They are very nice to other people and tend to be inclusive of everyone. By the same measure they would like to feel welcomed and included by others as well. They try to be polite and tolerant of others, refraining from judgement and allowing them to be who they are. They perform acts of service and try to foster a spirit of goodwill among their colleagues.
ENFJs want to be loved by everyone. They try to be everything to everybody at the risk of appearing fake or sycophantic. ENFJs try to live up to their high ideals and try to do their part in creating a better world. They want others to appreciate them for it and to be seen as a powerful force for good. ENFJs want people to show the same tolerance and commitment to peace and understanding that they strive to give to others.
ENFPs want unconditional acceptance from others. ENFPs sometimes feel pressure to try too hard to be likable and charming. The affable and sanguine persona they present to the world can sometimes belie the inner sadness they feel when they feel restricted or repressed. They want to be unique and true to who they are without alienating others or being alienated by others. ENFPs want to be accepted and embraced for all their quirks and weird qualities.
ESFPs want to be noticed and lavished with attention and adulation. ESFPs desire an audience to perform for and generally speaking they are a load of fun to be around. They are great people persons who treat almost everyone like a friend. ESFPs are likely to have histrionic personalities with an insatiable need for other people’s company. They hate being ostracized, left out or criticized and they and when that happens they can become combative and reckless.
ISTJs want others to trust them and trust that they will perform to a high standard. ISTJs fancy themselves to be very responsible and disciplined and will do what they must to get things done. Additionally, they are honest, forthright and they take their reputations seriously. ISTJs do not want to be regarded as anything less than a well put together and professional individual who knows what they are doing. They want others to know that they can be depended upon to fulfill their obligations.
ISTPs want others to have confidence in their abilities to handle a situation or fix a problem. They want people to feel like they are in good hands and can relax when ISTP steps in. ISTPs are much calmer than most during conflicts and crisis situations. They are able to dial into the moment and make clear headed decisions where others might short-circuit and self implode from the weight of the pressure. ISTPs know they can deliver and they want others to put their faith in them.
ISFJs want assurance from others that they are appreciated and valued. ISFJs are motivated to help others and to give selflessly but they don’t want to feel exploited or taken for granted. Sometimes they may feel like unsung heroes whose diligent work and effort goes unnoticed. A simple thanks and token of appreciation would go a long way in making an ISFJ feel valued. What they do they do from the heart and receiving gratitude from others helps make it all the more worthwhile.
ISFPs want to be acknowledged for their taste and the sense of style they bring to the world. ISFPs want others to look to defer to them for their unique aesthetic and special touch. They know how to liven up the world and add a splash of color to an otherwise drab and boring scene. Even though they enjoy attention for their work and creativity, they are often shy and understated in demeanor. They mostly allow their art and soulful work to speak for itself. ISFPs want to know that others “get” them and recognize the value and beauty they bring to the game.
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Jhoon is a writer and artist who likes to study astrology and psychology. Astroligion.com was launched in 2016 with a focus on astrology but has since expanded to include the MBTI and other topics. This site has provided Jhoon a great incentive to research and learn more about many subjects of personal interest.