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INFP Paradoxes: 5 Contradicting Quirks of the INFP Personality


The INFP personality is noted as an introvert who is receptive, sincere, imaginative and highly sensitive. These types are preoccupied with moral values, self identity, and personal fulfillment. They are also fond of romance and cherish the bonds they manage to form with people who understand and value them for who they are.

One of the quirks about the INFP is their seemingly paradoxical traits. Here is a look at 5 contrasting qualities of the INFP personality type.

1. INFPs Have Strong Values Yet Struggle to Make Everyday Decisions.

INFPs develop their own value system and tend to form thoughtful views on fairness, morality and meaning. As intuitive perceivers, they have a natural openness and awareness of possibilities and alternatives. When it comes to practical matters however, their openness to alternatives and possible options can make it difficult for them to make a choice. They can struggle between their head and their heart and place more pressure on themselves than is necessary. Sometimes, it is because they can imagine so many pros and cons, or because they are worried about what other people will think, or because they fear making a bad decision and missing out on a better one.

2. INFPs Swing From Apathetic Indifference to Passionate Determination.

INFPs can be very negligent about some things but super perfectionistic about others. When INFPs aren’t “feeling it”, they are not inclined to do very much to mask their indifference or put on pretenses. They often need a special feeling or meaningful sense of purpose to ignite their engines. INFPs strive to be in a position where they have some sense of control and get to do what really matters to them. When they do decide to go for something, they really go for it but only if they feel emotionally invested or inspired to do so. Otherwise, much of the time, they can appear detached, lackadaisical and bored.

3. INFPs Care About People But Often Avoid Contact With Them.

INFPs long for meaningful connection with others but can make it difficult for others to get close to them. INFPs enjoy helping and being with people but typically on meaningful terms. They try to avoid awkward and uncomfortable interactions and sometimes they just rather savor their alone time. Although they enjoy spending time with the people they care about, their social bandwidth is limited. INFPs are similar to cats in that they can be very affectionate when they want to be while at other times elusive and private. Because of their sensitivity, they sometimes need to withdraw and give themselves time to recollect and recharge their social batteries.

4. INFPs Can Often Feel Sad Even While They are Happy.

INFPs can experience a lot of mixed emotions and moods making them feel conflicted. Although they may feel more strongly in one way or another, there are a lot of subtleties that make it complicated for them to always express with words. INFPs cherish the things that bring them happiness while being ever-aware of their transience. They are especially aware of the bittersweet gift of what it is to live life and experience love knowing that it will not last forever. INFP writers and artists are especially good at capturing the nuance of the human experience and articulating in their own way some of the emotional struggles that many people can relate to.

5. INFPs Seek An Ideal Partner But Are Often Drawn to Toxic Ones.

INFP’s idealism and ability to see the good in almost anyone can sometimes blind them from recognizing the unsavory reality. INFPs tend to entertain romantic notions of love and fantasize wistfully about the perfect person they’d like to share their life with. For them, that ideal can be very abstract and maybe unrealistic. Like other empathic types however, INFPs can become enamored with toxic people masquerading as Mr. or Ms. Perfect. Even when the dream has turned into a nightmare, INFPs can become so attached to whatever good qualities the person might have that they become too tolerant of the bad stuff. INFPs can sometimes become a victim of their own optimism, driven by a noble crusade to help or save people who ultimately will never change and only manipulate and exploit them.

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Jetta Moon

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