The Secret Life of INFJ: 23 Things INFJs Wish People Understood About Them

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image credit: Allef Vinicius

INFJs are often seen as the archetypal ‘old soul.’ We’re the introverts who prefer deep conversations, the ones who always have a book on hand, and the ones who find 16 things that we’re passionate about and stick with them for life. We’re also the ones who are constantly misunderstood. People often see us as aloof, unemotional, or even stuck-up. The truth is, we’re just very private people. We don’t share our inner thoughts and feelings lightly – only with those who we know we can trust. Here are 15 things INFJs wish others knew about them:

1. We’re constantly daydreaming.

Our minds are always ticking, and we often find ourselves lost in our thoughts. We might be daydreaming about what our lives could be like, or we might be fantasizing about a different reality altogether.

2. We’re extremely private people.

We don’t open up easily, and we prefer to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves. It’s not that we don’t trust people, it’s just that we’re very picky about who we let into our inner circle.

3. We’re always observing everything around us.

We take in every detail, no matter how small, and we use our powers of observation to better understand the world and the people in it. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re not really present – but trust us, we are.

4. We’re always thinking about the deeper meaning of things.

We like to think about the big picture and we’re always looking for hidden meanings and symbolism. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re overthinking things, but it’s just how our minds work.

5. We’re extremely compassionate people.

We feel things deeply and we care about making a difference in the world. We want to help others, and we’ll go out of our way to do so.

6. We’re often misunderstood.

Our complex nature can be hard for others to understand, and as a result, we’re often misjudged or misinterpreted. It’s something we’ve come to accept – but it doesn’t make it any easier.

7. We’re total perfectionists.

We have extremely high standards, both for ourselves and for others. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re difficult to please, but it’s just because we want things to be as good as they can be.

8. We’re always planning ahead.

We like to have a plan for everything, and we’re always thinking ahead to the future. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re not present in the moment, but trust us, we are.

9. We’re extremely loyal friends.

Once we let someone into our inner circle, they become a part of our family – and we’ll do anything for them. We’re extremely loyal and protective of those we love. If you’re lucky enough to be in our inner circle, you can rest assured that we will always have your back.

10. We have a strong moral compass.

We believe in doing what’s right, even if it’s not the popular thing to do. We stand up for those who can’t or won’t stand up for themselves
and we’re always rooting for the underdog. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re idealists, but that’s just because we have faith in humanity.

11. We’re total homebodies.

We’re perfectly content spending a night in with a good book or movie. We don’t need to be out and about all the time, and we’re perfectly happy being alone.

12. We’re extremely intuitive.

We can often sense things before they happen, and we trust our gut instinct implicitly. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re psychic, but it’s just because we’re attuned to the world around us.

13. We’re natural caretakers.

We’re always looking out for others, and we’re quick to offer a shoulder to cry on. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re pushovers, but it’s just because we care.

14. We’re old souls.

We often feel like we’ve lived before, and we have an appreciation for things that are classic and timeless. This can sometimes make us seem like we’re stuck in the past, but it’s just because we appreciate the good things in life.

15. We’re extremely complex people.

Our thoughts and feelings are always in flux, and we’re constantly evolving. We’re never quite sure who we are or where we fit in, and that’s OK. We’re comfortable with the uncertainty, and we’re always growing and learning.

16. We’re pretty good at reading people.

While we may not always show it, we’re actually quite good at understanding what makes people tick. We can usually tell when someone is hiding something or being less than truthful.

17. We have a keen sense of observation.

This allows us to pick up on subtle cues that others might miss. We’re also pretty good at reading body language and understanding nonverbal communication.

18. We’re not as shy as you might think.

In fact, we’re actually quite outgoing…in our own unique way. We enjoy spending time with close friends and family, but we also like having some time to ourselves to recharge our batteries.

19. We’re deep thinkers and problem-solvers.

Once we set our minds to something, we usually don’t stop until we find a solution. And even then, we’re often left wondering “what if” and searching for a better way.

20. We’re pretty darn independent.

We don’t need someone else to take care of us or make decisions for us. We’re perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, thank you very much.

21. We’re always striving for personal growth.

We’re constantly learning and expanding our horizons. Whether it’s taking a new class or exploring a different culture, we’re always looking for ways to grow as individuals.

22. We’re passionate about causes that are important to us.

When we believe in something, we will fight for it tooth and nail. We’re not afraid to stand up for what we believe in and we’re always ready to lend a helping hand.

23. We’re pretty darn organized.

We like our lives to be in order and we’re usually pretty good at keeping things that way. This can sometimes come across as being a bit OCD, but it works for us.

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