How To Spot An INTJ male or INTJ female[dropcap]A[/dropcap]s one of the rarest personality types in the Myers Briggs lineup, INTJs enjoy a special status that often comes with being a rare creature. Bigfoot, gold, dinosaur fossils, snow leopards – these things are all rare and thus highly intriguing and sought after. Of course there are other rare things that we would rather have kept that way such as flesh eating diseases and plane crashes.
On top of being rare, INTJs are introverts which makes them even harder to find since they spend less time out in the open where most people are found. They are very private individuals and prefer quiet environments with moderate human interaction. They don’t need much socializing when they can busy themselves with their passion projects and on making progress towards their big-picture plans.
Many people may be interested in meeting an INTJ in person or want to determine whether someone they already know is one. It can be difficult to distinguish an INTJ as they can resemble an INFJ or ISTJ from a distance. You likely know a few INTJs without realizing it. Here is a helpful list of signs to look for that will show you how to spot an INTJ guy or INTJ female wherever you encounter them.
1.) INTJs are Efficient Shoppers
If you want to know how to spot an INTJ female or male at the supermarket, you can distinguish them by the efficiency with which they shop. They don’t like to tarry or linger and when they go to market they go with a clear purpose in mind. They may carry a list with them or have thought out in advance with great detail, everything they intend to buy. Because they dislike being in crowded places any longer than necessary, they will waste little time tracking down their target items and completing their errand as quickly and painlessly as possible. They grab and go, and avoid engaging anyone in chit chat along the way. They carry themselves with a sense of mission and they seem to know exactly what they’re doing and where they’re going. If a salesperson approaches them they will likely be terse in their responses and say whatever they need to encourage them to go away.
Their shopping carts will likely appear neat and organized with items grouped in practical ways like all frozen items kept together to preserve their frozeness and boxes and cans stacked by size and dimension. They avoid eye contact with other shoppers as they briskly make their way to checkout. If it were feasible, they would do all their shopping online. Bookstores are the only stores where they really can take their time and browse. They can spend copious amounts of time there and they enjoy the experience of being around so many fresh texts. Don’t be surprised to find an INTJ sniffing pages like a book hound. They love the scent of books, it is an intoxicating fragrance they would wear like designer perfume.
2.) INTJs Stay On the Periphery
INTJs live on the fringe and when forced to be in a crowded room will likely stay away from the center stage. They can most often be found near the walls or in the back or front corner of a room where they can either observe others safely or keep their back to them. They prefer to quietly take notes and avoid engaging in conversation. They don’t like to linger around to chat and hang out, they just want to get to things they deem more productive. Their quietness is not necessarily a sign of shyness nor a hatred of people. They are simply not as interested as most personality types in playing the social game that to them is largely a meaningless and unproductive circle jerk.
3.) The Death Stare and RBF (Resting Bitch Face)
If you’ve followed the Myers Briggs long enough you will likely have heard of the INTJ “death stare” or their infamous “resting bitch face”. INTJs get asked “why so serious?” in one form or another by concerned or intimidated colleagues and family members. If you see someone who seems to have a perma-scowl as their default facial expression, they are probably an INTJ. In most cases, the INTJ’s appearance of displeasure is nothing more than their “thinking face”. You may spot them staring off in some direction during which they are probably just immersed in deep mental processing. If they are unaware that they are being watched, you may even catch them silently mouthing words as though they were pantomiming a discussion with themselves.
Alternately, the INTJ death stare may also appear as a “deer in headlights” look or “resting bitch face”. Each of these expressions may appear angry or perturbed but generally there is no emotion behind them. INTJs are often unaware of how intense their expressions appear to others and do it without consideration. They mean nothing by it in most cases, they just get lost in such intense concentration that they become unresponsive to what’s around them. Whatever they are staring at, they are not actually looking at, but looking through. People and objects just happen to be in the line of their gaze. INTJs rarely show their anger so most likely they are not mad.
4.) INTJs Are Comfortable With Silence
INTJs are quiet and comfortable with saying nothing where others would be compelled to fill the silence with conversation. They are comfortable with simply keeping to themselves even while sharing a small space with another person such as on a plane or bus. They’re comfortable with being alone and may not bother to hide themselves in their cell phone or pretend to be doing something. The INTJ is probably that person sitting by themselves with a pensive expression on their face.
Out in public, INTJs tend to enjoy blending in and they like having friends who enjoy being the center of the action without any competition. The INTJ pairs well with ENFPs who can provide a social lubricant that helps INTJs meet and get on with new people.
5.) INTJ Clothing and Appearance
INTJ’s preference in fashion is utilitary and practical. They are something of minimalists and less likely to be found wearing colorful clothing and fancy accessories. Many of them have simple tastes wearing things like cargo pants for their functionality. They like to dress in simple modest attire that looks orderly and respectable. They like jeans and dark colors and black and white is probably their most preferred colors.
Some may wear light but cold hues such as blue, and in many cases they may wear the same theme every day. Their wardrobe choices tend to follow a consistent theme and is meant to avoid drawing excessive attention. As Judgers, INTJs are more likely to dress properly and may even be somewhat stylish and edgy. But as INTs, they are likely to be disconnected from the physical world and may fail to see any point in “dressing to impress” so to speak. It’s a toss-up for this type, but they do tend to dress better than their gauche NTP cousins.
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