According to David Keirsey, author of “Please Understand Me”, Rationals and Idealists get along well due to their shared preference for intuition. A mutual perceiving preference was by Keirsey’s estimation, the crux of a beautiful relationship supposedly because it fosters better understanding and communication. As it turns out, Idealists pair best with other idealists. Tieger and Baron-Tieger (2000) found that Idealist/idealist relationships report a satisfaction rating of 73%. This is the second highest satisfaction rating in the study exceeded only by the Guardian/Guardian relationship which flaunts a 79% satisfaction rate.
So why do ENFPs like INFJs? As fellow idealists, the INFJ and ENFP are on the same wavelength in terms of their fondness for new possibilities and their soulful quest for fulfillment and meaning in almost all aspects of their lives. They share similar qualities but also a number of distinct differences. These ENFP and INFJ similarities and differences are what draw these two personalities together and make them fascinating in one another’s eyes. These two types have great chemistry and can potentially form a long lasting and satisfying relationship. The ENFP and INFJ love match is a great one and so here are 6 points that may explain the magic behind the ENFP INFJ connection.
1. INFJs Are Great Listeners and ENFPs Love That
According to survey results posted at Thought Catalog, ‘words of affirmation’ and ‘quality time’ were the love languages most preferred by both ENFPs and INFJs. The INFJ for their part, loves spending time with their beloved, performing thoughtful gestures, and lavishing them with attention and affection. INFJs love the way the ENFP mind works and enjoy listening to them go on amusing rants or spout randomly humorous quips. ENFPs can be chatty but they are not glib and have the capacity to enthrall their INFJ partner with surprisingly deep and poignant observations about life. INFJs tend to be more quietly observant, internalizing their perceptions rather than verbalizing them the way ENFPs do. It is not always easy for INFJs to articulate with words what they think or feel and so they appreciate that ENFPs are able to express themselves so openly and un-self-consciously.
2. INFJ and ENFP Both Prize Deep Emotional Connection
INFJ people can often feel a sense of loneliness. Not for lack of friendships and social interaction but because they feel “out of place” and not truly understood by the people around them. Although INFJs are warm and friendly with almost everyone, there is a significant portion of themselves that is withheld and they desperately hold out for the special someone(s) with whom they can share it with. At the same time, INFJ’s intuitive insight into people makes it relatively easy for them to understand others and they tend to see the best in the people they love (faults and all). INFJ likely appreciates the interest and effort ENFP shows in trying to understand and decode the INFJ enigma. ENFPs have the ability and willingness to ‘read’ and comprehend the INFJ like few can and this makes INFJs feel more comfortable and in sync as a couple. Alternately, the ENFP values the sense of unconditional love and acceptance they receive from INFJ.
3. Both INFJ and ENFP Have Rich Fantasy Lives
As idealist types, both the INFJ and ENFP are predisposed to harboring an inner world that has a life of it’s own. Their wandering minds are prone to flights of fancy where they glimpse visions of the life they’d like to live or the future possibilities that lay before them. They can both be hopeless romantics with a tendency to idealize and idolize people they become enamored with. Coming together to create the ENFP INFJ love story, these two will no doubt find in each other a possible soulmate with whom they can indulge and live out some of their most passionate fantasies.
4. INFJ and ENFP Complement Each Other
I’m not talking about flattery. I mean that INFJs and ENFPs are complementary opposites. They share the same cognitive preferences but of opposite attitudes. This is primarily why they are able to relate to one another so well. However, while the INFJ favors structure and orderliness in how they engage with the outside world, the ENFP prefers spontaneity and variety. This J/P dynamic in addition to the extrovert/introvert dynamic is likely to prove beneficial in that each partner can compensate for and learn from each other. ENFP’s lack of interest in organization is bound to create a deficit in their lives that an INFJ may be able to fill.
INFJs are conscientious and tend to be better at keeping schedules and following day-to-day routines. They don’t mind picking up after their ENFP and reminding them about important commitments and dates. So long as they know ENFP appreciates them for it, they likely won’t be bitter or feel taken for granted. They take pleasure in being of service to people they love and this often comes in the form of advice and constructive criticism. ENFPs on the other hand have a light-hearted and laid back perspective, and can help the INFJ to loosen up and laugh. ENFPs can also get the INFJ to think more creatively and introduce fun ideas the INFJ would not have considered.
5. ENFP INFJ Communication
Communication is vital to any relationship, be it with friends, family or significant others. Fortunately, ENFP INFJ couples share a similar language which makes understanding one another very smooth and organic. This is not to say that they won’t have their share of disagreements and issues, but when there is an ENFP INFJ clash, it can typically be resolved because both the ENFP and INFJ have the ability to accommodate and consider each other’s perspective in order to reach a happy medium.
When ENFP and INFJ interact, they are attune to each other’s shifting moods and feelings and both the ENFP and INFJ have the ability to detect when something is upsetting their partner. As feeling types, they are able to provide the type of consolation that is preferred by feeling types – a compassionate ear and a shoulder to cry on. ENFP INFJ conversation will likely be characterized by intimate soul-baring and mutual interest in finding fulfillment and realizing their dreams and deepest aspirations interspersed with episodes of nutty humor.
6. INFJs and ENFPs Are Both Somewhat Ambiverted
While INFJs are predominantly introverted and ENFPs extraverted, both personality types are somewhat fluid in their attitude preference and they straddle the line between the inner and outer world. When ENFPs are in a pensive and contemplative mood they can appear subdued and introverted and when an INFJ is in a position where they must deal with people, they can appear very engaging like an extravert. The ENFP INFJ pairing is like a union of two chameleons who are able to adapt or adjust themselves to the people around them. In a relationship this means they will have reasonable understanding of both introverted and extraverted needs in their partner. ENFPs will likely understand when for instance an INFJ occasionally needs space and wants to withdraw for a bit. The INFJ for their part will likely be able to show tolerance for the ENFP’s penchant for flirting (even when they’re not trying to) and let them be themselves without calling into question their devotion to the relationship.
ENFP vs INFJ Relationship Preferences
INFJ
Most Important Aspects
- mutual support
- mutual commitment
- being listened to
- fidelity
- intimacy
- companionship
- shared values
Least Important Aspects
- shared religious beliefs
- shared interests
- sexual compatibility
- spiritual connection
- similar parenting styles
ENFP
Most Important Aspects
- being listened to
- mutual commitment
- intimacy
- fidelity
- having fun together
- mutual support
- humor
Least Important Aspects
- financial security
- shared religious beliefs
- shared interests
- similar parenting styles
- security
source: Just Your Type. Tieger & Tieger. 2000.
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I am an INFJ who has been married to an ENFP for 21 years, together for 23 years, and I can attest to all of the above statements! I think we both felt lucky to find eachother. 🙂
I’m an INFJ and my boyfriend is an ENFP and we’ve been together for a year and this comment makes me hopeful and happy.